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OOne thing that connects us as human beings is our ability to feel pain. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, we all have experiences of being hurt. What separates us though, is how we deal with that pain.

ExpertsTrusted Source have foundTrusted Source that when emotional pain prevents you from healing from a situation, it’s a sign that we aren’t moving forward in a growth-oriented way.

One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck in thinking about what “should have been,” we can become immobilized in painful feelings and memories.

If you’re trying to move forward from a painful experience, i pray you get the strength to free your mind and soul from pain .Here are a few tips to kick you in the right direction.

1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts

How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts.

For example, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, instead of getting stuck in, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.”Cultivate optimism in your mind and heart .

2. Create Physical Distance

It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset.

Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much .Do anything to distance yourself from the negative situation causing you pain .

3. Focus on Your   Own  Work

Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you’re grateful for.It can be your work ,it can a hobby ,talent ,project ,something you are proud of etc .

4. Practice mindfulness

The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera, a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future has on us.

“When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives,” she adds.

5. Be gentle with yourself

If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion.

Treat yourselves like you would treat a friend, offering yourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between your journey and those of others.

Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes.

6. Allow the negative emotions to flow

If your fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry, you’re not alone.  People are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness.

Rather than feeling them, most people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. Let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck .Don’t ignore the anger ,pain ,the morning always comes .

7. Accept that the other person may not apologize

Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you isn’t going to apologize.Its weird like that ,the most important thing is you getting better and not waiting on them to help you through it as a consolation price .

8. Engage in self-care

When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first.Take yourself out , buy yourself something nice ,read a book ,get a new look , get healthy ,go to the gym , do something to pamper yourself .

The more you can implement self-care into your daily life , the more empowered you feel.

9. Surround yourself with people who fill you up

Its important ,paramount ,to have a support system during times like these .If its impossible to find support around you ,ask from somewhere else .Don’t settle for company that pulls you back to a dark place .

10. Talk about it

When you’re dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurt you, it’s important to to talk about it.

Sometimes people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it. This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it or [the person is] embarrassed or ashamed to keep talking about it.

But talking it out is important. That’s why its important  finding a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting as well as willing to be your sounding board. If its impossible to talk it out , write it out ,paint it out ,sing it out ,recite it ,join a support group online{join an objective and private group}.

11. Allow  Yourself To Forgive

Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness.Forgive  and open yourself up for a new chapter .

Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on.

12. Seek Professional Help

If you’re struggling to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes it’s difficult to implement these tips on your own, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process .


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